Beauty

Beauty, Is such crap!
------People who would never have looked at me before are now fanning over me and I don't know if I like it. I have learned the hard way not to give the correct phone number. Buck, is now my voice message... Anyway that is another story. I seem to have become self indulgent over myself. The prep factor is much more now that, I care what I look like. Is this wrong or is this part of growing and becoming more worldly, and experiencing new horizons. I think people have lower expectations of me now that I have looks. I feel this creates less pressure for me and I can be more playful. I feel more like a different person, because I'm in a masquerade. Some say you are more yourself when you are undercover. Maybe this is who I am? Isn't that a scary thought. I'm so super fiscal, not of other people, but of myself. Do I have such low standards. I want to be of the mind, but my subconscious self is only of the body.... Is there a balance? If so can I find it before I fail at life, or worse do some thing so horrible I regret it.....